Ruminations on the Happiness Project

I finished The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin, yesterday, and I admit it made me happy.....happy to be done.

I picked up some interesting tidbits about happiness research, and appreciated the opportunity to ruminate on my own life. However, by the time I reached her October chapter on Paying Attention, I was mindful that this quick and dirty, one year on the road to happiness narrative was getting on my nerves. My favorite moments were her honesty and self-deprecating humor, such as when she engaged in a "Pollyanna Week" of being 100% positive and snapped at her husband before she got out of bed the first morning. That's real. I can connect with that.

My least favorite was the first of her Twelve Commandments, to "Be Gretchen", which she over-articulated. I love the Socratic principle to "Know Thyself", and appreciate its lesson, but I was really glad it wasn't my own Pollyanna week the umpteenth time she said she needed to "Be Gretchen". It distracted me from her point to be myself...doggone it I'm not Gretchen so how many times did I need to read her reminder to "Be Gretchen". I know she was referencing herself, but "being herself" would have been a better way to say it if her memoir was to ultimately reverberate with both author and reader.

Generally, I appreciated the principles of living a better life but found her continuous cycling back to her Twelve Commandments and 21 Secrets of Adulthood and her Four Splendid Truths rather tiring. Of course, this means I should probably re-read November: Keep a Contented Heart. If I were to engage her recommendation to try my own Happiness Project, maybe I should ask if there is a remedial version.

Still, I think my biggest critique isn't the manner in which the project is undertaken. She admits to having a pretty contented life, but recognizes the value in preparing for adversity which surely comes to us all. I actually take objection to Aristotle's assertion that undergirds her project: "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence".

The meaning and purpose of life, rather, is growth,learning to love, and being a more authentic agent of God's grace. And when my propensity toward discontent rears its ugly head, it is not its detractor to happiness that is my barometer. Instead, it is the extent to which discontent blocks me and those I am called to love from experiencing God's grace that beckons me to change. And that higher aim, with its two (2...mind you...just 2) great commandments to "Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength" and "Love Neighbor as Oneself" is probably the only aim of a happiness project that makes me fully mindful.

I guess I reverberate most with Rubin's Twelfth Commandment: "There is only love". Ah, now there is one splendid truth!