Parenting Solo

There are days when I say and feel that single parenting is, if not great, then eminently doable. Today is not one of those days.

Today is a big fat reminder that single parenting is a misnomer. Doing it all alone is much more like it.

Gabe came home from his weekend at his dad's tired and cranky. He also came home exposed to a bug from his year old sister, which given his tired system unsurprisingly turned into full on illness. So, when on most days I find the courage and spirit to say it's ok, here's why today it just isn't.

Gabe's headache, fever, and belly ache kept him awake most of the night. My efforts to provide Tylenol, cold compresses, juice, back rubs, and the most soothing voice I could muster kept me up most of the night as well. There was no other parent with whom to team tag so we could each get some sleep, which I imagine gives each a better chance at offering the soothing voice to a sick kid. (I snapped a bit mid-morning). As I feel the bug myself, there is no one to care for Gabe while I rest. And there was no one to negotiate sharing sick-child care with as I considered my busy work day. Gabe had to come to work with me for the one meeting I could not cancel today. The other meetings had to wait.

And then the notion of single parenting doesn't begin to address the taking-care-of-a-household solo realities. As I dragged my sick kid to work, the "malfunction indicator light" came on in my car. Lovely. No one to ask to "take care of that for me". When we got home, I had to take the trash out. After I delivered the 3 bins of recycling and 4 trash cans to the curb....in the rain...I noticed a pile of dirt in the garage. My best guess is a critter had found his way into a new bag of top soil in my garage. Duck taping the whole, placing the top soil in new bag, cleaning up the mess......all mine. Coming into a house that's a mess reflecting my recent whirlwind work travel....during which I depended upon good friends and neighbors to care for my son since his father lives 90 miles away and thus can't host him on school nights. Parenting alone means that I pack not one bag but pack my kid up as well...my travel disrupts his living situation and reminds us both that our family life is not as God designed.

Yes, I know. Really, I do. I am blessed in many ways. I have a job that pays the bills, offers me sufficient flexibility to parent, and brings me meaning and joy most of the time. I have a few friends who help me out....a lot. I should focus on these things; after all, Thanksgiving is just a couple of days away. That reminds me. I have a turkey to buy and a house to clean. Maybe I'll just allow myself the gift of being sad and cranky for a day or so.