"When you start dating again, tell me this time.", Gabe declared as we got in our car at the grocery store lot. "I will", I responded."You are older now and can understand better". He is 3 years older, in fact, than when I started dating following my divorce from his dad. It's between two years since he met C. It's been two days since I told Gabe C and I were no longer dating.
Gabe's moving much faster on the idea of mommy dating again than mommy.
Gabe went on. "And this time date someone tall....that'd be awesome....and fun. yeah, I can tell my friends this is my dad and they'll be like whoah.". I asked him what fun was....and he said "he'll take me to the movies when I get an A+ and energetic". Gabe's come a long way in 2 years. There's something in this mommy dating thing for him too, and that's a good thing. C is a good man, but aside from the heighth requirement, Gabe's list betrays C's weaknesses. He didn't have a lot of energy at times and didn't believe in external rewards for grades.
While I recognize that Gabe's list betrays his own perspective and needs, he reminds me that I even though the end of this relationship is a big disaapointment it isn't the end of the story on my finding someone with whom to grow old. Even though I'm not yet ready, perhaps I can begin to hope and even to begin my list. Knowing that Gabe believes now that mommy will date someone means that he is less afraid of losing me, more confident in my deep and undisplacable love for him is comforting. I count that a wonderful sign that he's weathered my first post-marriage relationship rather well. His reminder that there will be someone else for me...someone that fulfills mine and his deep needs...is pure gift.
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