Feminist Sensibility versus Soccer Mom Competitor

Feminist Sensibility and Soccer Mom Competitor are engaged in an epic battle within me.

I am a feminist. Shatter the glass ceiling. Sports for young girls. Fight gender stereotypes. All of that.

So, a recent conversation between my son and his teammate on their way to a scrimmage against a "girls team" caused me concern. "I can't believe we have to play a giiiirrrls team", Gabe said. Daniel replied, "I know!". Gabe then did his imitation of girls "Oh, we are so BFF's", he said in a high-pitched voice. Finally, one of them said somberly, "How embarrassing if we lose".

Wouldn't you know my son's team played the best I've ever seen!

Now, my son struggles to play as well as he can on the field. He is good. He has lots of potential. He's not as aggressive as necessary for competitive soccer [the level of 8 year old play these days is a conversation for another day]. As single mom, I worry that he missing out on the day-to-day male influence that fosters competition and aggressiveness (Soccer Mom Competitor up by one).

This morning on the way to soccer, Soccer Mom Competitor pulled further ahead in the competition against Feminist Sensibility. I talked Gabe up as fullback..."no one can score against #32", I declared in my best announcer voice. I turned to trash talk against his opponent. Harkening back to the scrimmage, I said "The Cougars are girls". He said, "really?". I replied, they are "girls on the inside".

Gabe played well. He had my voice encouraging him to be aggressive and tough on the sidelines. With minutes left in the game, Gabe's team was ahead 5-1. Gabe got the ball away from his own goal, but incurred a penalty on the way...a penalty that led to a direct kick on goal by his opponent. That's not a light penalty. That's bad.

And do you know what my immediate and audible response was? I said "I don't care about that!". I only cared that he'd aggressively and successful played as defender. She shoots! She scores! Soccer Mom Competitor wins!!!!!!