Gabe and I have attended recently to the tasks of weeding and mulching. Gabe has been absolutely amazing! He has focused on tackling the tallest weeds, and has made terrific progress. He has made $13.00, but it is apparent that his primary motivation is not financial. He knows he is making mom very proud. With every bucket, he has retrieved me from the mulching, asked me to remove my garden glove, held my hand, made me close my eyes, and guided me carefully to his work area. When he has me situated perfectly, he asks me to open my eyes and I say "WOW! You are amazing. I can hardly believe your progress!". And he gets this adorable glimmer in his eye and his dimple emerges along with a bright smile. He really has made me very proud. Some days I can't get over how blessed I am.
We've made some great progress overall. Just one side of the house left to weed, spray, and mulch. I remember almost four years ago when I first started to take care of the house on my own, I journaled about weeding as a metaphor for "dealing with the junk in your life". My real and metaphorical house was more weeds than anything at that point. I literally discovered a rose bush under some very tall weeds. I thought then about how important it is to take care of the weeds and to keep at the difficult work of plucking out the challenges.
Recently, I've discovered the real fruits of weeding; once the weeds are clear, there is space to imagine what might be. As I've weeded through some difficulties in my own life, I now have room to see what might be. Four years ago, all I saw was weeds. Today, I am not weed-free [no one is, I presume] but I am content. I have a wonderful job that fits me, and a vision for my future is emerging. I have recently ventured into dating, and realized I have a good sense of what is most important to me in a life partner. Even my house, which I’ve been slowly renovating, is beginning to look like what I only once imagined. And I have a wonderful son, who is showing the fruits of being raised by a healthy, whole mom.
What a joy to see the value of attending to the weeds both literally and figuratively. While I still attend carefully to the "weeds" in my life, I know that the weeds no longer overwhelm the beauty and the joy in my life. And as I weed with my son, the process of weeding and the experience of joy actually merge.
