When I was in college, I was named to "Who's Who among American College Students". I'm sure I thought I was a big deal.
Who's Who, however, seems to have gotten out of control. Almost weekly I get notified of my "nomination" to be part of "Who's Who among Executives, Who's Who among women leaders? Who's Who among Intellectuals, Who's Who among middle-aged divorcees?"...well, you get the picture. Thankfully, I no longer think "Who's Who" is such a big deal.
Today I received an invite to "Cambridge Who's Who" which went on to describe itself as a "Registry of Distinguished Invividuals". Even if I thought Who's Who was a big deal, an even bigger deal is the ability to spell.
Anyone want to nominate me to Who's Who among Excellent Spellers?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Picturing God's Rescue Plan
I am a big fan of the Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers Your Name. The premise of this children's Bible is simple; the entire biblical narrative is explicitly told as promises for God's big rescue plan in Jesus.
Gabe and I read it nightly, well almost nightly, and we have for a few years now. He knows which story is coming. He will pipe in when I read the refrain of God's "Never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love". I enjoy how these timeless narratives are retold to give voice to Jesus' mission on earth as God's mouthpiece to a broken world, or "everything God wanted to say to the whole world - in a person"
A few nights ago, Gabe and I read "He's here!", the Lukan nativity story. The angel Gabriel appeared to Mary, and as I read this story for the umpteenth time Gabe put his arm up to the illustration of the angel and said "he is the same color as me....cool!". Sure enough, Jago the illustrator portrayed an angel with a lovely brown skin tone. Not only does every story whisper Jesus' name, but the illustrator ensured that the biblical narrative included the story of each reader. God's never giving up always and forever love in ethnically inclusive! Cool!
Last night we read "A little girl and a poor frail lady", the story of Jairus' daughter. As Jairus ran past Jesus' helpers, Gabe queried "where are the sisters? It's all brothers". I was stumped. And rather than subject my 8 year old to the gendered context of the early church, I kept on reading reminding myself of the promise of God's rescue plan...a plan that is unfolding but not yet fulfilled: The Jairus story in this storybook concludes: "Jesus was making the sad things come untrue. He was mending God's broken world".
May our brokenness around ethnicity and gender continue to mend...may one day these sad realities indeed be untrue.
Gabe and I read it nightly, well almost nightly, and we have for a few years now. He knows which story is coming. He will pipe in when I read the refrain of God's "Never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love". I enjoy how these timeless narratives are retold to give voice to Jesus' mission on earth as God's mouthpiece to a broken world, or "everything God wanted to say to the whole world - in a person"
A few nights ago, Gabe and I read "He's here!", the Lukan nativity story. The angel Gabriel appeared to Mary, and as I read this story for the umpteenth time Gabe put his arm up to the illustration of the angel and said "he is the same color as me....cool!". Sure enough, Jago the illustrator portrayed an angel with a lovely brown skin tone. Not only does every story whisper Jesus' name, but the illustrator ensured that the biblical narrative included the story of each reader. God's never giving up always and forever love in ethnically inclusive! Cool!
Last night we read "A little girl and a poor frail lady", the story of Jairus' daughter. As Jairus ran past Jesus' helpers, Gabe queried "where are the sisters? It's all brothers". I was stumped. And rather than subject my 8 year old to the gendered context of the early church, I kept on reading reminding myself of the promise of God's rescue plan...a plan that is unfolding but not yet fulfilled: The Jairus story in this storybook concludes: "Jesus was making the sad things come untrue. He was mending God's broken world".
May our brokenness around ethnicity and gender continue to mend...may one day these sad realities indeed be untrue.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Generation Gap Fail
I admit it. I re-entered the world of dating via the internet. I was 41, a single mom, and a full-time employee. It's not as if I had time to attempt to meet other singles in real time. I'm way not a bar person. My church doesn't have a "singles" ministry. And, I mean I was 41 and terrified to date again anyhow. Dating from a distance felt less threatening.
It's not that I didn't think it was weird. I did. And I do. A male friend suggested that I should do it, that I'd get a lot of "hits" on Match.com. I so wasn't into having my picture viewed by perfect strangers, nor did I really want how I looked to be the primary driver for starting a relationship. I tried the 3 month eharmony trial. Actually, I did the trial twice about six months apart. Who knew that a simple change of e-address could give me two free trials? Creative frugality has its perks.
Was eharmony an adventure? You bet. I was matched with the same man in each trial. I guess he hadn't found his 23 dimensions of compatibility match. Hm. He was a skiier and asked me a lot of questions about fitness....and I mean a lot. He abruptly "closed the match" with me in "open communication" when I said I exercised but wasn't obsessed about it. I think he got defensive when I said "obsessed". I didn't get past the multiple choice and 'must have/can't stand' lists with many "matches". Three actually. Two of those I never met. One I did.
I've been dating that one for a year and a half. After a year, we introduced our children. I've met his parents. He's met my mom. We've done holidays together. And, you know what? The fact that we met on eharmony still feels weird to both of us.
I thought perhaps the weirdness of internet dating was pronounced for us mid-lifers. After all, the young adult generation has grown up with the internet. It's probably just part of their world.
I was mistaken.
I was teaching a class of first year college students recently. We were discussed "social capital" in America. One of Putnam's questions is how technology has impacted the state of community in America. I don't know how, but the class dialogue went to internet dating. Simply said, they thought it was totally weird. As I listened to their rants about how bizarre it is to meet people on-line (to which I am sympathetic mind you), I started to smirk. It's not good when a college teacher smirks. Finally, I had to come clean.
I used it as a teachable moment. I admitted that I'd been dating a wonderful man for some time that I'd met on-line. Quickly, the dialogue started to back track. "My aunt met her husband on line; her marriage is great!", etc. And I stopped them. I said, no you have asserted a thesis: "People who date on-line are weird". Now, you have to make a decision. If your thesis is correct, then I am weird. If I am not weird, then your thesis should be modified. And, of course, I affirmed that my being weird is a very real possibility.
The jury on the class thesis is still out. But even if I am weird, I am enjoying the fruits of my odd foray into on-line dating.
It's not that I didn't think it was weird. I did. And I do. A male friend suggested that I should do it, that I'd get a lot of "hits" on Match.com. I so wasn't into having my picture viewed by perfect strangers, nor did I really want how I looked to be the primary driver for starting a relationship. I tried the 3 month eharmony trial. Actually, I did the trial twice about six months apart. Who knew that a simple change of e-address could give me two free trials? Creative frugality has its perks.
Was eharmony an adventure? You bet. I was matched with the same man in each trial. I guess he hadn't found his 23 dimensions of compatibility match. Hm. He was a skiier and asked me a lot of questions about fitness....and I mean a lot. He abruptly "closed the match" with me in "open communication" when I said I exercised but wasn't obsessed about it. I think he got defensive when I said "obsessed". I didn't get past the multiple choice and 'must have/can't stand' lists with many "matches". Three actually. Two of those I never met. One I did.
I've been dating that one for a year and a half. After a year, we introduced our children. I've met his parents. He's met my mom. We've done holidays together. And, you know what? The fact that we met on eharmony still feels weird to both of us.
I thought perhaps the weirdness of internet dating was pronounced for us mid-lifers. After all, the young adult generation has grown up with the internet. It's probably just part of their world.
I was mistaken.
I was teaching a class of first year college students recently. We were discussed "social capital" in America. One of Putnam's questions is how technology has impacted the state of community in America. I don't know how, but the class dialogue went to internet dating. Simply said, they thought it was totally weird. As I listened to their rants about how bizarre it is to meet people on-line (to which I am sympathetic mind you), I started to smirk. It's not good when a college teacher smirks. Finally, I had to come clean.
I used it as a teachable moment. I admitted that I'd been dating a wonderful man for some time that I'd met on-line. Quickly, the dialogue started to back track. "My aunt met her husband on line; her marriage is great!", etc. And I stopped them. I said, no you have asserted a thesis: "People who date on-line are weird". Now, you have to make a decision. If your thesis is correct, then I am weird. If I am not weird, then your thesis should be modified. And, of course, I affirmed that my being weird is a very real possibility.
The jury on the class thesis is still out. But even if I am weird, I am enjoying the fruits of my odd foray into on-line dating.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Worth a Shot!
As Craig and I continue to date and seriously consider long term commitment, we both continue to pay attention to what our children need. We recognize that our joy in finding each other is, sadly, another notch in the loss column for our kids, another reminder that their parents are not together.
This weekend we got snowed in together and I borrowed one of Craig's T-shirts, having not packed for the two night stay. Last night, I wore the T-shirt to bed. Gabe asked, "Are you going to wear Craig's T-shirt to sleep in?". I replied, "yes" and added "that okay with you?". He said, after a long pause, that it was "okay" and that "I could wear Craig's T-shirt three more times, not counting today". He followed that with "I'm still getting used to this".
I affirmed him for being honest, that getting used to "Mommy and Craig" is not easy, and that he should let me know "what he needs".
After a quick pause he said, "I need an iTouch".
I laughed out loud...cackled in fact....as he grinned. I said something like I wasn't going to "buy" his comfort. And he shot back with a smile, "It was worth a shot!".
Indeed, helping him transition to the idea of Mommy having someone else in her life was "worth a shot". I get the sense that he is, actually, doing pretty well with it!
This weekend we got snowed in together and I borrowed one of Craig's T-shirts, having not packed for the two night stay. Last night, I wore the T-shirt to bed. Gabe asked, "Are you going to wear Craig's T-shirt to sleep in?". I replied, "yes" and added "that okay with you?". He said, after a long pause, that it was "okay" and that "I could wear Craig's T-shirt three more times, not counting today". He followed that with "I'm still getting used to this".
I affirmed him for being honest, that getting used to "Mommy and Craig" is not easy, and that he should let me know "what he needs".
After a quick pause he said, "I need an iTouch".
I laughed out loud...cackled in fact....as he grinned. I said something like I wasn't going to "buy" his comfort. And he shot back with a smile, "It was worth a shot!".
Indeed, helping him transition to the idea of Mommy having someone else in her life was "worth a shot". I get the sense that he is, actually, doing pretty well with it!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Mixing Metaphors
What happens when you have an 8 year old boy/soccer enthusiast raised by a 43rd mom/musical theatre officionado?
I'll tell you what happens.
1) You have a young boy who does his physical warm-ups and counts them off by half measures "1-2, 1-2, 1-2". And,
2) You have a mom who asks her son how he "felt about his audition...I mean try-out"?
We're living a boundary-crossing, metaphor-mixing, filled-with-possibility life!
I'll tell you what happens.
1) You have a young boy who does his physical warm-ups and counts them off by half measures "1-2, 1-2, 1-2". And,
2) You have a mom who asks her son how he "felt about his audition...I mean try-out"?
We're living a boundary-crossing, metaphor-mixing, filled-with-possibility life!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Feminist Sensibility versus Soccer Mom Competitor
Feminist Sensibility and Soccer Mom Competitor are engaged in an epic battle within me.
I am a feminist. Shatter the glass ceiling. Sports for young girls. Fight gender stereotypes. All of that.
So, a recent conversation between my son and his teammate on their way to a scrimmage against a "girls team" caused me concern. "I can't believe we have to play a giiiirrrls team", Gabe said. Daniel replied, "I know!". Gabe then did his imitation of girls "Oh, we are so BFF's", he said in a high-pitched voice. Finally, one of them said somberly, "How embarrassing if we lose".
Wouldn't you know my son's team played the best I've ever seen!
Now, my son struggles to play as well as he can on the field. He is good. He has lots of potential. He's not as aggressive as necessary for competitive soccer [the level of 8 year old play these days is a conversation for another day]. As single mom, I worry that he missing out on the day-to-day male influence that fosters competition and aggressiveness (Soccer Mom Competitor up by one).
This morning on the way to soccer, Soccer Mom Competitor pulled further ahead in the competition against Feminist Sensibility. I talked Gabe up as fullback..."no one can score against #32", I declared in my best announcer voice. I turned to trash talk against his opponent. Harkening back to the scrimmage, I said "The Cougars are girls". He said, "really?". I replied, they are "girls on the inside".
Gabe played well. He had my voice encouraging him to be aggressive and tough on the sidelines. With minutes left in the game, Gabe's team was ahead 5-1. Gabe got the ball away from his own goal, but incurred a penalty on the way...a penalty that led to a direct kick on goal by his opponent. That's not a light penalty. That's bad.
And do you know what my immediate and audible response was? I said "I don't care about that!". I only cared that he'd aggressively and successful played as defender. She shoots! She scores! Soccer Mom Competitor wins!!!!!!
I am a feminist. Shatter the glass ceiling. Sports for young girls. Fight gender stereotypes. All of that.
So, a recent conversation between my son and his teammate on their way to a scrimmage against a "girls team" caused me concern. "I can't believe we have to play a giiiirrrls team", Gabe said. Daniel replied, "I know!". Gabe then did his imitation of girls "Oh, we are so BFF's", he said in a high-pitched voice. Finally, one of them said somberly, "How embarrassing if we lose".
Wouldn't you know my son's team played the best I've ever seen!
Now, my son struggles to play as well as he can on the field. He is good. He has lots of potential. He's not as aggressive as necessary for competitive soccer [the level of 8 year old play these days is a conversation for another day]. As single mom, I worry that he missing out on the day-to-day male influence that fosters competition and aggressiveness (Soccer Mom Competitor up by one).
This morning on the way to soccer, Soccer Mom Competitor pulled further ahead in the competition against Feminist Sensibility. I talked Gabe up as fullback..."no one can score against #32", I declared in my best announcer voice. I turned to trash talk against his opponent. Harkening back to the scrimmage, I said "The Cougars are girls". He said, "really?". I replied, they are "girls on the inside".
Gabe played well. He had my voice encouraging him to be aggressive and tough on the sidelines. With minutes left in the game, Gabe's team was ahead 5-1. Gabe got the ball away from his own goal, but incurred a penalty on the way...a penalty that led to a direct kick on goal by his opponent. That's not a light penalty. That's bad.
And do you know what my immediate and audible response was? I said "I don't care about that!". I only cared that he'd aggressively and successful played as defender. She shoots! She scores! Soccer Mom Competitor wins!!!!!!
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